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The Technopork Award
To the $75 million Teacher Training in Technology Program where there are already 86 other teacher training programs.

 

The Petrified Pork Award
For $5.1 million ($50 million since 1985) in wood utilization research.

 

The Kick in the Ash Award
To Sen. Ted Stevens (R-Alaska) for a $2 million monitor to warn airplanes of volcanic ash.

 

The Hall of Shame Award
To former Rep. Joseph McDade (R-Pa.) for nine years of pork-barrel spending.

 

The Luau Award
To Sen. Daniel Inouye (D-Hawaii) for a $185 million helping of Hawaiian pork.

 

The License to Pork Award
To Bond Sen. Kit Bond (R-Mo.) for $12.2 million in transportation pork.

 

The Proud to Be a Porker Award
To Sen. Richard Shelby (R-Ala.) for boasting in news releases about his $192 million in pork.

 

The Chicken You-Know-What Award
To Sen. Barbara Mikulski (D-Md.) for a $225,000 demonstration project to determine whether poultry litter can generate electricity.

 

The Cold Shower Award
To Sen. Robert Byrd (D-W.Va.) for $2 million ($15.9 million since 1995) for the National Center for Cool and Cold Water Aquaculture even though construction hasn’t begun.

 

The Oxymoron Award
To Rep. John Murtha (D-Pa.) for the Fort Necessity Battlefield, which has received $8.5 million in pork since 1993.

 

The Hopping Mad Award
To Sen. Ted Stevens (R-Alaska) for a $750,000 grant for grasshopper research in Alaska.

 

The Ham-a-lot Award
To Rep. Michael Forbes (R-N.Y.) for a $250,000 grant to the city of Westhampton Beach, N.Y., for a Performing Arts Center.

 

The Congressional Narcissist Award
To Rep. Louis Stokes (D-Ohio) for a $20.8 million grant to the Louis Stokes Cleveland VA Center.

 

The Leaving with a Jet Plane or Two Award
To former Speaker Newt Gingrich (R-Ga.) for the $112 million contract to build KC-130J planes in his district.